Quiet Evening Thoughts

August 14, 2010 mommytobeaver
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It is almost 10:00 at night. I am alone in the house. Well, not really. Charla is sleeping in the other room and Dixie and the cats are out by me. However, Tim is gone, finishing up some remodeling for my aunt, and that makes the house feel larger and more quiet. Times like this make me think about life, my life, my life with Charla and Tim, my wants, my goals and desires. How do I want to live my life? What do I want to do with my time here?

Daily life is becoming so consistent. I can predict what the day will bring. I can almost predict the conversations I will have, the food I will eat and the housework I will do. After awhile, it’s like I can put myself on autopilot and just “be” but not really “live”. This makes me sad. I want to go out and enjoy life, I want to marvel at what’s out there. I want to teach Charla the beauty of living.

However, there’s dishes that need to be done. The living room needs to be vacuumed. The poor beta fish really needs his water changed. And I”m tired. Life is going too fast. If I slow down and actually see what is going on around me, I will fall behind. The house will be a mess, dinner won’t be done and Charla will be pulling on my leg wanting me to do something with her. There must be a happy medium. I must find the zest for life that was once there. Oh, I know it’s still there, buried somewhere beneath the surface, waiting to come out again when the chaos slows down again. What if it never slows down? Are pieces of me lost forever? No, I refuse to believe that! Growing up should not mean losing a piece of yourself.

This is my goal for the next week. I want to slow things down a bit and appreciate what’s going on in the world around me, my world. I only get one chance to be here and it’s time to start once again living and appreciating what’s around me.

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Entry Filed under: Daily Thoughts

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