Shifting Mindset

September 27, 2010 mommytobeaver
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Today begins a new month of trying to conceive. This will be our 11th month. At the end of this, it will officially be 1 year of trying. My feelings on this are mixed. I do want another child and preferably sooner rather than later. However, I have also hit a point where I’m finding it too exhausting to continue dwelling on things and talking about it. I think my sister in law feels the same, there was no baby discussion yesterday at all. It was very nice!

My plan from last month will continue. I will chart my temperature, take a B-100 Complex vitamin every day, use OPK’s starting on day 10/11 and use progesterone cream after ovulation has been confirmed. After a few more months of trying, Tim may consider doing an analysis. That is as far as we will go in this process. In fact, I think I have hit the point where I’m going to be focusing on Charla as an only child instead of preparing for a younger sibling. For the last year, the focus has been on extending our family. This focus needs to shift.

Do I think 1 year is a long time to try? No, I don’t. In fact, this year has absolutely flown by! I will continue to try until it is a physical impossibility for me to conceive. However, is 1 year a long time to be planning for something that may or may not happen? Yes! My focus now needs to shift more towards parenting an only child. To me, this is the first step in acceptance. And, if/when I do get pregnant, it will be easy enough to shift back to the extending family mindset!

I’m not quite sure how to explain what I mean by shifting my mindset. It’s just a feeling I’ve had the last year of looking ahead instead of looking at the present. There’s always been a “next year when the baby’s here” type of thought process. Reality is, there may not ever be another baby. This thought does not hurt as much as it would have a few months ago. If it is meant to be, it will be.

I’m going to be okay.

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Entry Filed under: Operation pregnancy

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